Summing up this year without saying something cliche is nearly impossible at this point, so I’ve opted for a moment of silence…And practically have decided to take a couple weeks off of teaching to absorb the lessons we have learned this year.
- Family (or friends that are family)
We have been so lucky to be largely unaffected by the virus in a practical sense, which is a level of privilege that is hard to appreciate in the midst of it, but I try. But I have realized the people that I want on my side are the ones that are there no matter what, for me that is my family and I am eternally grateful I was born into somewhere I belong. I have experienced what appears to be “losses” this year in a personal sense but I have to be grateful for those too.
Every loss helped to make space for bigger and better things, which is a sign of growth! Shedding skin and letting go of dead weight were major themes for myself and our farm this year. It can be so painful while it is occurring (because we are often attached to things that we aren’t meant to have forever). But when you can be brave, if you can surrender to the discomfort, it is the same sensation of liberation, of taking flight, and I am happy to say that I feel much more free now, than I did at the start of this year. Another facet of 2020 was the necessity of focusing on my health out of interest for myself but also others.
What a beautiful thing to bring into focus, how you care for yourself, but also how caring for yourself is caring for others. For example, if I don’t get enough sleep, take my vitamins, meditate (whatever it is you believe makes you healthy) not only do I endanger myself but I also endanger my loved ones. This is always true, especially when it comes to mental health which I have a much greater appreciation for also. Having the time off when COVID first hit, was such a god send for me.
It gave me the space and time I’ve never allowed myself to have (because of my unconscious grind mentality that I have subsequently realized can be toxic and the root of a lot of my own and others suffering) to do what I REALLY wanted to do, which is care for myself (yoga, meditation, diet, exploring my creativity etc.).
The time off really gave me space that I hadn’t been giving myself and in doing so opened up different parts of myself because I now had the space and time to explore them and let them out of their confines. Confines that are created by our work obsessed culture, fear, and insecurity. I’ve heard it said many times that the root of the pandemic is fear not the virus, which I agree with. But beyond that, the pandemic has been going on for many years before the virus, in that we live our lives often out of fear.
Whether that be the fear of inadequacy, abandonment etc. they are countless but they all often result in addiction, overworking, overeating etc. there are just as many ways to escape fear as there are reasons to be fearful.
The time off with COVID allowed me to step outside of my own bubble and see how fragile our reality is. One especially virulent virus stopped the whole world in their tracks…and now what will we do with this new “freedom”.
How ironic that freedom for me came when so many of our freedoms were removed. Personally, many of the freedoms we had before (eating out, going out, etc) were not freedoms that I valued all that highly already so I was happy to let them go, it was a weight off my shoulders to not feel obligated. Obligation, which again is another fear. We limit ourselves constantly and we are totally innocent in the process. But 2020 definitely revealed to me the freedom that is always there should we be brave enough to consider, to open up to the endless possibilities.
This state of openness however, is only possible for me when I am relaxed. A state that I found during the lockdown and has opened my eyes to the life I really want. I don’t want to operate under fear and illusion ( I have to do this because…, I can’t do that because…). I want to be open to my personal and professional evolution. I want to remain open to the lessons I am here to learn, so I can continue to provide the best for myself, my family and friends, and my clients.
Thank you all for allowing me the freedom to evolve, grow, and become more of myself than I ever have before. I am excited to see the possibilities that are opened up for us in the future, whatever they may be.
I hope you all have experienced similar openings into yourself and reality.
Thank you so much for reading and being here with me and supporting our business and I hope to see you soon 🙂